I Can’t Take Me Anywhere!!
Somewhere along the way over the past what……8 years I’ve forgotten how to make myself presentable in public!!
So, I went to one of my favorite stores (not to mention a great discount rack) and I’m looking at slacks, shirts, and sandals …….maybe another hat too.
As I’m making my way to the shirt racks I inadvertently catch a glimpse in a strategically placed mirror. Oh crap!! Who was the old creeping looking man following me……it didn’t take long before I was square in front of another strategically placed mirror….yeah, Oh crap, the old creepy looking man was ME!!! Look at me!!!! And, I’m realizing, this is the recently improved version of me! I looked older and creepier…..GADS what have I done to myself?
I had some long tan shorts, and a red t-shirt. Alone, in the closet or on the bed they looked good, and I think that they look good together…….it’s who was wearing them!!! Neither one fit me appropriately!! First thing I noticed I had pushed my shirt in my pants too far, so it stretched the neck downward….and my pants, I was wearing them a little ……make that too low which made my beer belly hang over my belt. So, I did some adjusting, I pulled my shirt out of my pants a bit and pulled my pants above my waist line, almost to my belly button. The Results…….nah, this ain’t working either. Oh and I had a straw beach hat on with y Ozzy sunglasses. Definitely having an identity crisis going on here. And my size and shape are working against me.
Okay, I’m at the shirt racks…..perusing. I find this style of shirt that I like that’s vented and it’s a button down. Slip it on….amazing!!! No strategically placed nor convenient mirrors. Oh, man…there’s people around the nearest mirror, I’m not wanting anyone to see me, so the solution is to find and inconvenient mirror which I do. The shirt fits, it looks good with my shorts and y creepiness has been abated!!!! My rotundness isn’t quite as rotund. Nice.
Next up, slacks. I find this really cool style with mesh enclosed pockets…..try these on in the dressing room! Bingo!!! They look good on me!!! But, meanwhile I’m still wearing the godawful rags I walked in with! BUT!!!! When I discovered it was me that was just looking so old and bad, I walked out the store and to my vehicle, took off my hat, and pocketed my Ozzy shades. I’m clueless of what the result is, no mirror. But what I did notice was a convenient bar next door to the store……. I almost ditched the shopping in lieu of something cold and adult oriented. I passed, went back in the store and finished the job I started and sans the hat and shades there was an improvement. Identity a bit more in focus. I’m getting there.
Alright, I need some new sandals and I immediately spot the ones that want to be worn by me….my only problem is do I want them in grey or black. Grey won!!! I’m done!!!
But I did promise myself I wouldn’t take myself anywhere unless I paid attention to what I was wearing and how I looked. I can’t take the embarrassment! I agreed with myself.
Next up, hair coloring…..
Oh, I skipped the bar next door.
Peace, Love, and Beaches,