Quotes III

Quotes III

This is gonna be a bit of a hodge podge of quotes……my hunger right now is for things on the humorous side, but I know all too well that my path changes and I’m very open to that especially in this moment.  So, let’s just venture forth and see what we can get into.

“Sex is one of the 9 reasons for reincarnation. The other 8 are unimportant.”  George Burns

“You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I’m not hungry enough to eat six.”  Yogi Berra

“A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.”  Oliver Herford

“I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.”  Winston Churchill

“Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.”  Mae West

I’m realizing as I’m looking thru my collection of quotes, so many from days long gone bye and while I find them still compelling and humorous, in today’s world they would be considered, cruel, callous, rude, inconsiderate, and politically incorrect.  I’ve had second thoughts on the Winston Churchill quote above as an example.

“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.”  Ellen DeGeneres

“I don’t deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don’t deserve that either.”  Jack Benny

“So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?”  Christina Aguilera

I’m a tougher judge of my sense of humor today…..it see ms like everything is dull quote after quote, dull.  This is usually when I’ve not been doing my usual readings and have tended to benign shit in my life.  I’ll come around.

“I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”  Joan Rivers

“If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.”  Henny Youngman

“The last time I saw him he was walking down lover’s lane holding his own hand.”  Fred Allen

“I was eating in a Chinese restaurant downtown. There was a dish called Mother and Child Reunion. It’s chicken and eggs. And I said, I gotta use that one.” Paul Simon

I just had to use that Paul Simon quote…..phenomenal from where a song can come from…..this replace the Spike Milligan quote. I’ll use it another time.

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“Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don’t know one child with a full time job and children.”  Bill Hicks

“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.”  Lily Tomlin

“I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.”  Rodney Dangerfield

“You know what’s bad, having to shave your ears before going on a date.”  John Gaudet

“If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.” Robin Williams

Okay, that does it for quotes for today……I’ll be back a bit later with another episode of Tuesday so come back later. Oh, have a really FAB day!

Peace, Love, and Beaches,

John

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