I Get Impatient With Myself

I Get Impatient With Myself

I really do….and so may you.

Something that is out of my realm of control because something else is busy at work.  I hope I said that right?  Something that is out of my realm of control because I made a mistake.  I know I said that right. Something that is out of my realm of control because of whatever!  This too, I said right.

It really doesn’t matter why it’s out of the realm of my control…..it’s just that it is and that I find a bit frustrating.  I can’t do what I want to do, go where I want to go or get what I want to get……  It’s there, it’s close but I can’t!!




So, I get impatient with myself.

So many intangibles but yet seems so doable.

Right now my house is ready for sale, but I can’t put is for sale for about 2 more weeks.  There’s a small amount of tidying up……not much, a few hours.  There’s pictures to take….about a dozen or so, an hour. And I’ve got some stuff…..a lot of stuff to move out of my house to make it a good show home and it’s part of the downsizing for a lifestyle change geared for traveling.  This part can’t happen for 2 weeks. A small matter of logistics.  So, I’m trying to bide my time with little things around the house; touch up painting, throwing hidden stuff away, changing patio door handle, new storm door for front door, weeding…..just mundane stuff that I may have to do over and over the next 2 weeks.




The house is appraised and I’m pleased.  There may be one problem with a shifted walkway……I’ll compensate for but that’s it.

So, I get impatient with myself.

This effects my job.  I’m ready to quit!  But, with the mortgage note and household expenses I can’t afford to quit.  But when I sell the house, I can comfortably quit my job.

So, I get impatient with myself.

This effects my music.  I have materials written for a new CD.  But, I need some alone time away from house stuff.  New ultra portable equipment and software along with a new computer is required.  But, I can’t do any of this until the house is sold.

So, I get impatient with myself.

I’m looking at this and trying to see the big picture, make the best of where I’m at in this situation.  Sometimes I feel I’m getting it, sometimes I don’t  And I’m not really coming up with the answer.  Except that a new and unfamiliar skill is being developed in me……’patience’.  I’ve never been one to brag about being a ‘patient’ person and I’ve put myself though some mental gymnastics for the traveling adventure I’m working on and I realized that there will not be the suddenness of getting where I want to go, doing what I want to do and oh let’s not forget……customer service.




So, this seems to be a time of training for me.  Yeah, I’m really not interested in the training part, I just wanna do……fuck up here and there, adjust, adapt, and overcome.  That’s adventure.  Nothing considered bad just part of the journey.  Well jail would be considered and unfavorable outcome in any instance.

Can you see yourself in parallel here?  Maybe not with the same initiative motivating you, but encumbrances?

Take heart.  It’s just a matter of time.  Get busy doing the things to prepare yourself for whatever the adventure is before you and let the rest have its temporary way.

But, I get impatient with myself……STILL!

Have a FAB experience.

Peace, Love, and Beaches,

John





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