I Don’t Do Much, And That Doesn’t Seem Like Enough



I Don’t Do Much, And That Doesn’t Seem Like Enough




What the hell does that mean??  What’s enough?

Should I be doing more nothing or more something?

This is my dilemma.

While the internet is ‘blowing up’ over Kellyanne Conway kneeling on a sofa in the Oval Office while President Trump takes a picture with the leaders of the historically black colleges and universities I’m contemplating what’s ‘enough’.

It’s not a subject I’ve considered at all.  Never in life that I can recall.  I did something half-ass, that was enough.  No more consideration.  I really put forth a lot of effort on a project sometime in the past…..that was enough effort.

It’s just never been a consideration.

Until now.



It’s sort of a double meaning thing.  Do you get it?  I don’t do much, and that doesn’t seem like enough!

Today, I’ll do just about what I did yesterday.  I’ll write, read, take a nap (naps refresh me), eat, take a walk……relax.

But, should I put a little more effort in this relaxing thing?  I mean it’s so effortless.  I feel guilty that I might not be taking this serious enough, I just sort of fall into this…….

I’ve always been taught and practiced putting forth an effort to achieve something.  Yet, here I am relaxing and questioning my earnestness in my efforts to relax.  Other than the things I do that I mentioned above, I hit the beach too.  Oh, and the bars, I do the bars too.

I Don’t Do Much, And That Doesn’t Seem Like Enough




My day is full of nothing but relaxation.  So full, I don’t have much time for any other effort.  And should I be putting out more effort.  I mean, that takes away from the relaxation.  Doesn’t it?

Then, then there’s that devil thought. (Yeah I get devil thoughts…..usually ends over wine and cheesecake.) Maybe I should be doing something constructive.  I’ve a lot of life experience in doing something constructive.  Most of the time it wasn’t what I wanted to do, but nonetheless I’ve that experience.  I could ply that to now.

Wait!  Doing nothing and enjoying the nothing??  Yeah, I’m sort of hooked on the doing nothing stuff….it actually fills my day.

How could someone who has done stuff all his life now survive doing nothing?  I hear you out there you’re saying, “I couldn’t just do nothing.”  I actually recall saying that in my younger days.  Lots of pride in being productive.  And here I am, doing nothing and I’m rather proud of all the nothing that I’ve produced.

I consider my production of nothing to be…..of a high standard and quality.  I’m attracted to such.  Quality.

I don’t believe I can increase the quantity……24 hours seems to fill my day.  But, the quality……feet in the sand, a Caribbean breeze washing away my thoughts, the sound of the waves splashing the beach, and a cooler of ice cold beer.  Quality.

I Don’t Do Much, And That Doesn’t Seem Like Enough




Back to that ‘devil’ shit.

Should I be doing something?  Like maybe a greeter at WalMart?  “Hi, welcome to WalMart.  How the fuck is your day going?  Enjoy your shopping and watch your fuckin’ kids.”  Nah, I don’t think I’d fit in.  Perhaps in a liquor store.  I’ve experience with liquor.  Well acquainted with various libations.  I could sample the product and explain to the customer the woodsy after taste……or maybe that familiar burn on the way down.  Nah, I think I might get carried away…..literally.

Surely I could do something and feel productive.

Why?  I’m producing days full of relaxation every single day!!  I’ve become rather accomplished at this too!  No meetings, clock to punch, arguments to attend, bitching about a boss…….just relaxation.

The dilemma has taken on as much a life as I’ve allowed. Not much.  Too busy relaxing.  There’s no need to interrupt a good thing.  Honestly I don’t recall ever doing something so well!  I’m thinking I’ve found my calling late in life……  So, I must not waste any more of my time!  I’ve relaxation to tend too!

Enough!



At days end, when I reflect on all the events…….it doesn’t take long.  And I feel quite pleased with myself.  Why not?  I accomplished what I’ve set out to do!

If I have any one regret, it’s not starting the ‘relaxation’ thing earlier in life.  Did I earn anything to get here?  Hell no!  Don’t believe that lie.  Just do it!

I like to have fun

Now if you excuse me, I have nothing to attend to.

Peace, love, and beaches,

John





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